just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
