Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
