i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Rumble strips road head = magical
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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