he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
