My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
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