omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
