hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
