first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
