Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
