I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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