yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
