with your own penis?
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Couch. On fire.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
