OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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