We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
vagina is talking i cant
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
