Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
