if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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