Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
