Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
