The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
