I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
