We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
40s are totally the cure
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
