If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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