True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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