This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
