somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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