I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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