everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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