I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
