I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
