I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Sex in the backyard? Check.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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