hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
