Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
