woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
