i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
