So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
