You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
