its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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