Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
