Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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