Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
