Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
