your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
