Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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