TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
