Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
