if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
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