I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
