hotel room ftw
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Randomize
