Your mouth is God's brothel.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Farmville is her only friend.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
