people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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