She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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