She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
